I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
