I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
