What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
