hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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