are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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