I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
