ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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