who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
