He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
