Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
