i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
