Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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