I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
