peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
