i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
