let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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