Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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