If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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