Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
