I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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