i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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