I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
