I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
