my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
