Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
