People with herpes should wear stickers.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
