You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
