Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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