Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
