did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize