i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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