i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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