Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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