After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
false alarm, still single
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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