We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
