She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
