Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
