i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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