i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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