Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
