Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize