how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize