Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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