Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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