Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I have peed in a lot of sinks
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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