i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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