I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
