You made me cry and you don't even care
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
