Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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