I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
