do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
