I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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