don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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