OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We are two peas in an std pod
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
