He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize