I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I need water and some morals
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
