he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
