He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
