the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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