It was confusing and full of hummus
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
