Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
