i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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