You're so nebulous sometimes
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
