you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
