i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
