No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Tell her she can't have a vagina
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
