JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
