Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
