Will you blow on my dice?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
