Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize