We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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