I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
