I think im going to throw up on grandma
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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