So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Someone signed my nipple.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
