doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
