piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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