Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
