My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
